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  1. #1381
    Senior Member old w/??'s Avatar
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    My friend Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

    He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.

    Tom wanted two things:
    • to learn how to invest his inheritance and,
    • to find a wife to share his fortune.

    One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
    "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
    Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

    Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.
    Fred, buellzebub, Purple and 6 others like this.

  2. #1382
    Senior Member TW-Brian's Avatar
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    After a night of spirited lovemaking, she turned to her new lover and asked "Am I the only one that you've been with?"

    He looked at her, and after moment of thought he said "Yes, as a matter of fact you are. All the others were nines and tens."

  3. #1383
    Senior Member NVcowboy's Avatar
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    A boy was sitting on the sidewalk smashing ants with his thumb, saying Goddamn ants every time he crushed one.
    Father O'Brien happened along and asked, "My son, what are you doing?"
    "Killing Goddamn ants, Father."
    "But my son, they are God's creatures and serve a purpose."
    "No way. Not ants."
    "Ok, tell you what, if you can give me three examples of things that don't serve a purpose, I'll let you continue."
    The boy thought about it for a minute and with thumb in motion replied, "Ok Padre, tits on a Nun, balls on a preacher, and Goddamn ants!
    admiral, Darth, Sthrnromr and 2 others like this.
    If you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk. - Tuco Juan Ramierez aka "The Rat"
    There's 2 kinds of people in this world, those with guns, and those who dig. You dig. - The Man with No Name



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  5. #1384
    Senior Member old w/??'s Avatar
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    So I can understand this: If your parents break the law to get you into college you should be expelled from school, they should be indicted, charged and convicted of a felony and may serve some time in jail.

    ALTHOUGH . . . .
    If your parents break the law to get you into the country .... You should be given a FREE education, healthcare on the American taxpayers dime and EVERYONE should be given AMNESTY.

    That my dear friend is the retarded logic of a Liberal Democrat.

  6. #1385
    Senior Member NVcowboy's Avatar
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    Mentally Challenged. I don't think we're allowed to say retarded anymore. Are we?
    The Democrat mascot IS a Jackass!
    If you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk. - Tuco Juan Ramierez aka "The Rat"
    There's 2 kinds of people in this world, those with guns, and those who dig. You dig. - The Man with No Name



    2018 TW200 - LCpl. Rex T. Dubber
    2010 Savage S40 650

  7. #1386
    Senior Member GaryL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by old w/?? View Post
    So I can understand this: If your parents break the law to get you into college you should be expelled from school, they should be indicted, charged and convicted of a felony and may serve some time in jail.

    ALTHOUGH . . . .
    If your parents break the law to get you into the country .... You should be given a FREE education, healthcare on the American taxpayers dime and EVERYONE should be given AMNESTY.

    That my dear friend is the retarded logic of a Liberal Democrat.
    You have to understand the common thread between the two groups. The parents breaking the law to get you into college are already liberal democrats while the ones breaking the law to get you into the country are future liberal democrats so it is a win, win for the party.

    GaryL
    Be Decisive! Right or Wrong just make a decision. ​ The road of life is paved with flat squirrels that couldn't make a decision.

    Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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  8. #1387
    Senior Member admiral's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NVcowboy View Post
    You WILL NOT make this putt. Ya JACKASS!
    Attachment 192152

    On the Cereal theme...

    Hidden Content A ride in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact I'm dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant?

  9. #1388
    Senior Member Gastone165's Avatar
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    1972 Yamaha DT 175, 1974 Kawasaki 125, 1976 Suzuki TM 250, 1979 Yamaha 750, 1977 Husquvarna 360, 1979 Husquvarna 250, (2) 1980 Suzuki RM 400’s, 1971 Husquvarna 400, 1983 Honda V65 Magna, 1987 Suzuki 230 Quad, 1987 TW200, 1990 TW200, 1996 Honda XR 650, 1998 Yamaha 300 King Quad, 2000 Harley Davidson Heritage, 2006 Kawasaki KLX 250s, 2007 Arctic Cat 650 Quad, 2010 Polaris Sportsman 850 Quad, 2006 Yamaha Grizzly 660 Quad, 2002 TW200, 1995 TW200, 2008 TW200, 2016 TW200.

  10. #1389
    Senior Member admiral's Avatar
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    Smitty Blackstone likes this.
    Hidden Content A ride in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact I'm dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant?

  11. #1390
    Senior Member Sthrnromr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by admiral View Post
    My favorite part of this post, is that it was posted on a Tuesday
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