Never Think You Are alone
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Thread: Never Think You Are alone

  1. #1
    Senior Member Smitty Blackstone's Avatar
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    Never Think You Are alone

    My parents divorced when I was 8. I saw my father for a few weekends until my mother brainwashed me against him. Her family blackballed him from the heating business, so he made some money in the taxi business in the Bronx, then moved to California in 1976.
    I never knew anything mentioned above, except that I didn't see him anymore.
    Out of respect for my stepfather, throughout my life I rarely asked about him. If he was mentioned, it was followed with a derogatory statement.

    So, I'm 53 now.... Last week, a friend was having some personal issues with being adopted (he's 50). This brought up conversation about where my father might be.
    Before she died, Mom said that she thought my father was dead. So the thought of finding him, should I ever have it, would be for naught.
    Well Susan is pretty good at locating things via the web. She finds a picture of an older man with two little kids. It matched the only picture of him that I have. A scanned photo from October of 1965, with him and Mom at a catered function. Susan did some more digging and came up with a phone number.
    I called the number and it rang and rang, no answer. No answering machine either. Called again the next day, same same. Was stuck in traffic a few days later and dialed again..

    Someone answered the phone, and I asked if he was Al Corelli. He said yes. The he asked who I was. I said Al Corelli. He said, "Yes, this is Al Corelli"
    Instead of continuing the "Who's on first" fiasco, I asked him if he was married to Loretta Fulvio in the 1960s.
    He said yes.
    I said.... Hi Dad!
    Silence...........................................

    Turns out I have 2 half sisters, 36 and 33.
    He is coming out to NY in a couple of weeks.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Fred's Avatar
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    Congratulations.
    This is an amazing development. Wishing you a joyous reunion. Wow, instant family..suddenly your a big brother too Al.
    Internet and a woman's curiosity make finding people from the past fairly successful.
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  3. #3
    Super Moderator littletommy's Avatar
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    Smitty, that is great news!! My X Wife did the same thing to me. I lost the love of my 4 boy's because of her doing the same thing. No matter how hard I tried, she tried harder to mess things up after our divorce. I miss them everyday and it's very heartbreaking to me. It was good to read this.
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    Senior Member GaryL's Avatar
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    I hope that all goes well for you.

    Many of us have some similar family stories but few of us ever get the chance to rekindle with lost family members. My own dad will hit 90 this year if he is even still alive. Almost 20 years ago he and my sister and mom all took off and all we have ever heard is that mom passed away some years back and could not be cremated before my brothers and me were notified of her death. I am pretty sure we could find them easy enough but the fact is they don't want to be found and that is their choice, they know exactly where we are all located but prefer to remain out of our lives and off on their own for some unknown reason other than our sister is the wedge and an absolutely miserable person. The only good thing I can say regarding my family ties is that things got much less stressful after they blew town and me and my brothers are all very close with none of the past heart wrenching crap that once was our family.

    GaryL
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    Senior Member arbolmano's Avatar
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    Families are strange things. You don't get to choose them. Theses days of connectivity have really changed the scene.
    Much harder to stay hidden. It was not until media saturation and the information age that Americans began to really
    think about family values. I think it's one of the reasons people resent immigrants so much (esp Hispanics). For the most part
    immigrants have much stronger family ties and values than we do and we resent them for that. A Hispanic family can survive on minimum
    wage due to a strong family whereas Americans can't.
    Strange stuff all bound up in religion, societal values, race relations and of course money.
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  7. #6
    Senior Member TopPredator's Avatar
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    Smitty that's a wonderful story and thank your for sharing it with us. I'm excited to hear more on your reunion. WOW.
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  8. #7
    Senior Member GaryL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by arbolmano View Post
    Families are strange things. You don't get to choose them. Theses days of connectivity have really changed the scene.
    Much harder to stay hidden. It was not until media saturation and the information age that Americans began to really
    think about family values. I think it's one of the reasons people resent immigrants so much (esp Hispanics). For the most part
    immigrants have much stronger family ties and values than we do and we resent them for that. A Hispanic family can survive on minimum
    wage due to a strong family whereas Americans can't.
    Strange stuff all bound up in religion, societal values, race relations and of course money.
    I agree in part with what you are attempting to convey here. I very much doubt that many of us resent immigrants at all. What we do resent are free loaders and it does not matter what color or flavor they come in. I have lived my entire life working along side of many black, Latino and other immigrants and never had a problem with those who came to get the job done. If they lacked language or educated smarts that was fine as long as they came with a strong back and a will to work. The liberal media and many of our politicians paint too much of this with a very broad brush but only those who chose to remain uninformed believe half the crap they feed us. It has very little to do with race, color or religion and everything to do with a willingness to get along and get the job done by carrying your own weight.

    GaryL
    Be Decisive! Right or Wrong just make a decision. ​ The road of life is paved with flat squirrels that couldn't make a decision.

    Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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  9. #8
    Senior Member OurDee's Avatar
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    Don't be upset if it doesn't come out all fairy tail. It is what it is. Find out if you have nephews and nieces. Get pictures. Take some to share (copies so he can have them). Write on the backs. Take notes. Enjoy the moment.

    I treated my step children as my own and would not tolerate bad mouthing of their father around them. I simply said, it is up to them to learn who is who. Kids are real smart.
    Smitty Blackstone likes this.
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  10. #9
    rbm
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    Senior Member rbm's Avatar
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    That's pretty cool Smitty, hope it works out well for you!

  11. #10
    Senior Member boznarras's Avatar
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    Wonderful story.
    Reminds me of a friend who, out of the blue, was contacted a few years ago while in his late 50s by an unknown son who was in his mid thirties.
    The son was a result of a relationship in the late 70s that did not work, and then he moved. He never knew she got pregnant. The woman never contacted my friend, and the son eventually got enough info to track him down. They arranged to meet, and stay in touch. The son does not want anything other than to know his father.
    My friend and his wife of over 20 years have no kids; now they wonder if they will get grandchildren after all.
    Fred and admiral like this.

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