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Thread: Man Boobs

  1. #1
    Senior Member SanDue's Avatar
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    Feb 2015
    Happy Valley, Ca.

    Man Boobs

    Man I got a pair! Dagnabitt! I gained 25 pounds this last year while I was dieting. What an oxymoron. More moron then oxy! Someone has got to change. Sue and I will be riding along and in the distance is a long grade. I hear here giggle in the headset and she twists the throttle. She starts to slowly pull ahead.I eventually have to down shift to try and keep up. She likes to hum while pulling away and saying over the microphone, Dirts a Flyen haha". I'm not going to blow my bike up to keep up as she slowly pulls away with attitude. If I lose some weight and she gains some I maybe able to keep up. So thats the plan.

    Doctor says I'm borderline diabetic. She also told me to give up carbohydrates and sugar. The Doctor also told me to eat just a small handful of almonds for lunch and nothing else. It was becoming lunch time so I thought I'd try it. I ate a small handful of almonds and waited till the next day. Don't and didn't lose any weight at all. The next day I tried two small handfuls and waited 'till the next day. No weight loss.

    My cardiologist says count calories. Calories in and calories out. I told him right there and then that I'm not going to count calories out! I don't even know how to do that. He retorted by suggesting I exercise more, walk, cycle and quit eating. Keep it simple stupid. Thanks Doc. See me in six months. That six months is now three months. Danny is going to be in trouble!

    I don't feel fluffy. I really don't like seeing honest pictures of my self on the forum. I just don't feel like I look. Hadn't done a pushup in a while so I thought I'd give that a try. I did one push-up and decided I need shoulder surgery. Better stick to walking long distances often. I'm going to call my weight loss program, LOW, long often walks. If Sue joins me I'll just add an S for Sue, SLOW. Haha. Dirts a Flyen SanDue

  2. #2
    Senior Member Fred's Avatar
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    Dec 2011
    Turtle Wrangling the Sierras
    Maybe chase Sue around for more exercise?
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  3. #3
    Super Moderator Purple's Avatar
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    Mar 2015
    Ynys Môn
    When I was with my first wife, she had hormone replacement therapy – otherwise known as “anti-barking mad patches”. Often in the night, they’d find their way onto me, and I voiced my concern about growing a pair as a consequence. My wife’s doctor, (co-incidental female by the way), simply laughed at the suggestion – easy for her to say …

    I’ve put on a stone over the years, seeming to settle down to about eleven and a half to 12 (170lb), complete with a slight beer gut, courtesy to my dedication to a decent Claret. As such, I’m reluctant to go on a diet, as this would necessitate either the reduction in food calories, or the equally unpalatable reduction in wine intake. I feel that I have reached a nice balance between the two at my stage in life, and I’m reluctant to upset the apple cart (as it were)

    If I were in your situation, I would tend towards “upping” your engine size to 225cc, neatly forgetting to mention that the change had taken place to your missus. After all, these things are often a psychological battle, and there’s no point in over complicating things

    The rather more obvious solution nearly killed you the last time you tried it – so think “out of the box” - (pun intended) :P

    Maybe start with the inclusion of a kick start – and work up from there ……

    A little extra padding goes a long way as we age – it’s how you hold it that counts ………
    Last edited by Purple; 12-28-2017 at 11:54 AM.
    admiral, littletommy, Mel and 8 others like this.
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  5. #4
    Senior Member admiral's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    Frosty Hollow
    "I really don't like seeing honest pictures of my self on the forum."

    Me neither but too many of you have seen me already so I don't think I can get away with fibbing too much but the want to fib is there.

    "She starts to slowly pull ahead. I eventually have to downshift to try and keep up."

    Oh, I'm starting to catch on to why she pulls away. Nothing wrong with an ill-adjusted carburetor or using winter tire pressure in the summer eh? It's a Man Boob issue. Argh!
    SanDue, Donzo, littletommy and 7 others like this.
    Hidden Content A ride in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact I'm dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant?

  6. #5
    Senior Member troll's Avatar
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    Nov 2013
    frozen wasteland of the barren north, Yukon Territory, Canada
    Well, I've always said when we get old we borrow our wives bras and they start using our razors.....
    SanDue, admiral, Purple and 12 others like this.

  7. #6
    Senior Member Donzo's Avatar
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    Oct 2016
    I truly did "laugh out loud" reading Sandues post! This time of the year I ALWAYS gain weight - I figure if you don't .... you just don't love your family and friends enough. I mean you gotta eat some of everyones creations and enjoy the drinks offered. Anything other would be rude.....Thats my story and I'm sticking with it!


  8. #7
    Senior Member stagewex's Avatar
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    Jun 2016
    New Rochelle, New York
    About to go out to pick up a large order of Italian food to-go. Now after reading this post I'm feeling guilty. But not enough to not swiggle down some ravioli's.
    What's that line from "Goodfella's" when they are making a feast in prison/slicing the garlic with a razor blade... "tomorrow we go on diets".

  9. #8
    WHS is offline
    Member WHS's Avatar
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    Jan 2017
    Wish I could say it was only 25lbs! I quit smoking last year, and while I was already gaining some weight, that put me right over the top. I have already started to "diet". Mainly I am going sugar and gluten free, and starting to exercise more. Problem is i am not 25 anymore, so it takes like twice the work for half the result... ugh.

    Good luck!

  10. #9
    Senior Member GaryL's Avatar
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    Jun 2013
    Forestburgh, NY
    I have not actually gained much weight but I am noticing I am rearranging it lately. I keep telling my wife that a good carpenter always builds a shed over his tools and I am sticking with it.

    Donzo, mhomadness, admiral and 8 others like this.
    Be Decisive! Right or Wrong just make a decision. ​ The road of life is paved with flat squirrels that couldn't make a decision.

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  11. #10
    Senior Member Mrs. Admiral's Avatar
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    Jun 2015
    Frosty Hollow ~ Garden Valley, Idaho
    I agree a decent shed to keep the tools safe is always a good thing, but what happens when the shed collapses and you can’t get to the tools?!? Giggle
    Purple, GaryL, Donzo and 18 others like this.

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