The Strange Case of Mr. Bones...A Halloween story.
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Thread: The Strange Case of Mr. Bones...A Halloween story.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Darth's Avatar
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    Nov 2013
    Timbercreek Canyon, Texas

    The Strange Case of Mr. Bones...A Halloween story.

    This one is true.
    A little perspective...
    Before we retired 10 years ago, we lived in a small town north of Fort Worth, TX.
    We did this 3-4 years.
    Great fun!

    Mr. Bones

    There was an ad in the paper one Halloween for a life-like plastic skeleton. A skeleton sale? Such a deal! I couldn’t resist and Mr. Bones was soon hanging in my shop, in the comfortable Hangman's Noose I made for him.

    On Halloween I get him down, put on full black leathers (on me, not Bones), get on a bike and have Betty tie him on the back with fishing line, his arms wrapped around me and his feet tied to the passenger pegs. He wears a Jack-O-Lantern bandana and is quite stylish. Then we go out about dark and strafe the Trick-or-Treaters. This is always great fun and the kids love it. The parents usually look at me like I'm Chester the Molester but I don't care.

    The first year of our Halloween ride was on a Sunday and the bike of choice was a bright red Ducati 900 Super Sport. I strafed all the kiddies I could find and chased a bunch of hooting teenagers around the First Baptist Church parking lot a couple of times. I was having fun and didn't want to go home yet so I went to the corner strip center where the Kroger Grocery is. I rode around the parking lot once and got a few laughs and some amused smiles along with the rolling of eyes and shaking of heads from the tight-asses.

    The entrance to Kroger is a glass wall probably 80' long. You walk up to a sliding automatic double door, enter and cross about a 20' deep foyer and on through a second set of auto doors. There are doors like this at both ends of the foyer and you can come & go through either of them. The sidewalk leading to both doors is nicely ramped for the shopping carts. The gears started turning...

    I guess the devil was with me that night (as usual). As I sat there it occurred to me that I could easily and quickly scoot up the ramp, through the open auto door, make a hard left to the other end of the foyer, left again out the other door, down the ramp, wheelie across the parking lot, haul ass and be gone; leaving a trail of loudly laughing shoppers and open-mouthed grocery boys. It would be the motorcycling equivalent of Moses parting the Red Sea. What a plan! Conceived of genius, soon to be executed with amazing daring and precision!

    I started the booming Duck, pulled the clutch lever, snicked into gear and prepared to give Bones the ride of his life (death?) The adrenaline was pumping and we were ready to make the news in what is laughingly called the newspaper in Keller, Texas (aka Hooterville). Just as the clutch started to engage something caught my eye from the far left...a Keller PD black and white pulling into the Kroger lot! For the first time in my life the Cosmic Stinger of Fate’s timing was just a tad off and I was saved! A sign from above! Thank you God!! Glory - Halleluiah!

    So instead of spending a few hours in the Hooterville Hoosegow I just waved to the donut runner cop, went home, hung Mr. Bones back in his noose and had a beer. Maybe two.

    Mr. Bones gets out every couple of years and I've been thinking about the next ride: We have a Buddhist temple, an orphanage and a biker bar just crawling with Harleys.

    .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .............................................
    This crummy pic is the only one I could find, this year on a BMW.
    Last edited by Darth; 10-31-2018 at 10:49 AM.
    Purple, admiral, Fred and 2 others like this.
    "Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."
    - Hunter S. Thompson

    “It’s more fun to ride a slow bike fast, than a fast bike slow”.

    "The less horsepower a motorcycle has, the more it can teach you.” - Ben Bostrom

    And though a mountain may rise up and smack the livin' shit outta me,
    and wad up my bike somethin' awful...
    Still, I rise!
    (With apologies to Maya Angelou)

    "Give a Damn"
    - C. M. Howe, Jr.

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  2. #2
    Senior Member TW-Brian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Pleasanton, CA
    Great story!

    When I was in high school we "appropriated" a rather lifelike scarecrow figure from someone's front yard Halloween decorations. He was dressed in a pair of overalls with boots attached, a longsleeved shirt with gloves attached, and some kind of a head with a hat stitched on. He was then all nicely stuffed with crumpled newspapers. We tied a long rope around his neck and then drove around until we found a group of Trick-or-Treaters. We then sped by them in one of my buddies' car, let out a bloodcurdling scream and pushed Mr. Scarecrow out of the passenger side of the car and proceeded to drag him down the street. It was obvious that we scared the crap out of a bunch of little kids until we returned Mr. Scarecrow to his home, in somewhat worse shape than when he started out that night. Great fun!

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