Men Are Just Happier People
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Thread: Men Are Just Happier People

  1. #1
    Senior Member TW-Brian's Avatar
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    Men Are Just Happier People

    Men Are Just Happier People

    -What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

    -Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

    -A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

    -You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

    NICKNAMES

    - If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

    - If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

    EATING OUT

    - When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

    - When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY

    - A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    - A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS

    - A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

    - The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS

    - A woman has the last word in any argument.

    - Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    FUTURE

    - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    - A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    MARRIAGE

    - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    - A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP

    - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    - A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL

    - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    - Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING

    - Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    - A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

    SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor ... And to the men who will enjoy reading.
    Last edited by TW-Brian; 11-01-2019 at 11:48 AM.
    littletommy, Darth, Fred and 13 others like this.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator littletommy's Avatar
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    That about says it all doesn't it...

    Good one B!!
    Darth, admiral, SanDue and 1 others like this.
    1st John 1:9
    If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

    John 3:16
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

    John 3:17
    For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Darth's Avatar
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    YOWZA!

    Sure wish I'd written that...thanks Brian.
    "Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."
    - Hunter S. Thompson

    “It’s more fun to ride a slow bike fast, than a fast bike slow”.

    "The less horsepower a motorcycle has, the more it can teach you.” - Ben Bostrom

    And though a mountain may rise up and smack the livin' shit outta me,
    and wad up my bike somethin' awful...
    Still, I rise!
    (With apologies to Maya Angelou)


    "Give a Damn"
    - C. M. Howe, Jr.

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    Senior Member stagewex's Avatar
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    Perfect.
    2008 Vespa 150"S" (Elec & Kick Start)
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  6. #5
    Senior Member Fred's Avatar
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    Such timeless words of wisdom! Probably echos thoughts originally voiced by Aristotle.
    If men are so happy then why do we find ourselves grumbling at times?
    2003 TW200 "Betty Boop"
    2006 TW200 "Nibbler", a.k.a. “Mr.Gizmo"
    Hidden Content All Things Considered I’ld Rather Be Motorcycling

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    Senior Member admiral's Avatar
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    I love heart warming stories like this.
    Fred, littletommy, Purple and 2 others like this.
    Hidden Content A ride in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact I'm dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant?

  8. #7
    Senior Member Michael Bryce Winnick's Avatar
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    All in that is true, but it gets evened up by women being born lucky. They have 24/7 access to a ... to a ... ...nevermind.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator Purple's Avatar
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    Oh boy - some of you have a lot to learn about diplomacy - you reap what you sow .......
    admiral, SanDue, Mel and 2 others like this.
    (Warning - Forum may contain nuts) ...... Hidden Content

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  10. #9
    Senior Member ibdavid's Avatar
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    Does diplomacy in this case trump (no pun intended) "the truth hurts"?
    Darth and littletommy like this.
    2004 TW200, low miles (not enough riding).
    Other 2 wheel toys; many bicycles and a honda CT90.

  11. #10
    Senior Member Trail Woman's Avatar
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    At least half of these don't apply to me....which has left me to be quite happy.

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