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Discussion Starter #1
I know I've told all you folks before, how bad my neighborhood is, and true to form; I walk out there today and some thief had stolen my little sister Sue's special tomato plant in my tiny garden.

I usually try to cheat/gamble on getting my little garden going asap in the season. It works about half the time and I get a couple weeks, maybe even a month's worth of extra growing time, either that or I get bit and frost or rain or hail or snow gets me. Well, I gambled this year and got almost a month, since most folks won't even start at all until Mother's day or after. I had strawberries everywhere, blooms everywhere and fruit already growing.

Sue had begged me for a tomato plant with some nice big tomatoes, and it was well on its way with flowers starting already and had grown several inches already.

Well, they yanked Sue's tomato plant right out, threw my cage into the alley, then proceeded to rob me of 4 or 5 huge strawberry plants too.

It's not the first time this has happened either. A few years ago, a neighbor I KNOW, swiped a prize tomato plant, and I recognized it in his yard a couple days later. I KNOW MY PLANTS, but I let it go and acted like I didn't see it and chose to take the course of grace, rather than pound him into a pulp.

Sue was heartbroken, I'm pissed and I hope he doesn't come back to hit me again.

O, how I'd love to sink a bb into his right and left cheek; as he bends over to snake something out of my garden. That'll give him something to think about every time he sits down for a while. I am up all kinds of hours through the night and day. I could nail this dude so fast and he wouldn't even know where it came from. All he'd hear is a tiny little "poof, poof" and he'd be screaming the next moment running for his life. I bet he wouldn't touch MY garden after that. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, in this neighborhood.

So very very tempting... :mad: Somebody hold me back... :mad:

So, how bad is your neighborhood???... :D
 

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set bear traps in your back yard or do the old pot growers method of pain. Catch a rattle snake and NAIL his tail to a piece of 2x4 and steak the 2x4 down right next to the tomato plant. Yes I know it sounds cold to nail the snakes tail but that is how they did it keeps the snake pissed off and all that.
 

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There are low lifes everywhere and the lawyers keep passing laws to protect them. Is a shame you can't protect yourself anymore without dire consequences. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me from correcting an Ahole is the fact you can't cross a border or own firearms if you so much as touch one of them.
Liberal Progressive Democrats you mean turning criminals into the victim.
 

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Active method:
  1. Inject custom fluid into paintball:
    • banker's dye in a paint ball - thief can't wash that crap off and everyone knows s/he's a thief afterwards.
    • pepper spray in a paint ball - you'll hear them yelling a mile away when they are hit.
  2. Make your own 'paintball' using silicone caulking and filler of choice
  3. Adding stuff to a water balloon works too, but you want to be certain you hit your target, and not your plants.
Note: I would recommend using a sling shot delivery system - they're easy to hide and very powerful.
This man is my hero...

Passive method:
  1. inexpensive critter cam hidden in a birdhouse or in a window overlooking the garden.
  2. break beam sensor that emits an ear shattering screech or takes photos (if you're good with electronics - this can be armed from an indoors switch every time you go to work or bed)
  3. small snap traps - but be careful, these can get you into trouble in different states
Some of this is frivolous, but if you can give us a picture of the space that needs protecting, we may be able to help with more practical solutions.
 

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Goodness Tommy, they stole your garden plants!?!? I'm kinda sitting here baffled.

I've always lived in the country and never had to worry about theives. We leave our doors unlocked, keys in the car, and shop door wide open when we leave. The only theiving going on around here is when the neighbor's dog steals our cat's bed.
 

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So sorry LT to hear of the raiders to your front yard garden in downtown Spokane. I would feel very violated and outraged too. Hard to be gracious and turn the other cheek when they make off with something you had poured TLC into with expectations of putting a smile on Lil' Sister's face.
Unfortunately any of the mentioned plans for revenge would likely get you into trouble with either the police or earn escalated retribution from the plant thief.
Would hate to see you in jail with the other hard asses asking " Whatcha in for, Boy?" ..and you have to reply "Stinkbombem".:D
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thanks for all the replies folks. I'm not sure about the Rattlesnake idea though...ha ha. :D

I still like the idea of sinking a couple bb's into his butt though...

Unfortunately, my best sniper's perch is just out of view from the corner he grabbed my plants, by a shed in the way. I guess that is fortunate for the thief though, because I have to admit, I think I'd do it.

I wish I had more electronic skills. I'd like to graft a tracking chip into a plants stock somehow, then GPS track it right to his front door and demand my plants back. I'd make the creep, dig them up, take them back to my house, plant them nicely again, then chain the buttwipe to the garden for a couple weeks until the plants are over their initial shock and are growing again nicely. I'd hang a sign on the guy saying "I am a thief, kick me in the ass, so I will remember not to steal anything from littletommy's garden ever again". And quite simply, if baby sister Sue got hold of him, she'd pound him into a pulp. I'm not kidding either. :p She already wants to smack TWilight, just because he made fun of my 87!!!! snicker snicker snicker... ;):D And now that I think about it, he could use a good smack now and then... he he he. :p
 

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Lt sure wouldn't tell you to shoot BB's at that S O B the bb's in his or her ass may come back to haunt you ...But ...ROCK SALT works really well in air guns...best part by the time they get to the ER the salt has done its job....and no BB's to be found in back side...again not trying to get you to do something like that.......but sure be fun watching them hop away holding their back side with the burning salt making them sing...
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Lt sure wouldn't tell you to shoot BB's at that S O B the bb's in his or her ass may come back to haunt you ...But ...ROCK SALT works really well in air guns...best part by the time they get to the ER the salt has done its job....and no BB's to be found in back side...again not trying to get you to do something like that.......but sure be fun watching them hop away holding their back side with the burning salt making them sing...
I'm afraid if I used Rock Salt, that I'd want to hit him with a double barreled shotgun load though... I better not do that though.

Would a thief really go to the police and tell them he got hit in the arse by a couple bb's; that he had no idea where they came from; while he was stealing from someones garden?? :confused:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I'd leave no DNA or fingerprints on the two bb's though... :p
 

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Discussion Starter #15
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Discussion Starter #19
Tisk, tisk, LT this is out of character for you.... love that thief, there is nothing bigger than your love....
Yeah, that may be true, but; I'd love to at least give him a big bear hug and squeeze the life outta him though... :mad: almost.

Good to see ya posting again brother Troll, you seemed quiet for a bit there... and I like you around here. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Well, I guess I better mosey out there and see if he hit me again last night... :mad:
 
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