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X Marks the spot for proper aim elevation.
The Invisible Man is gonna be pissed, however!
 

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A lady in the grocery store said I should wear a mask.
I said "Why? You are already wearing one."

She replied, "Because it will be DOUBLE the protection."
I said "Do you really feel that strongly about it?"

She said "Why yes I do, don't you watch the news?"
I looked down at my shoes in shame and out of respect "No Ma'am, I'm sorry. Have you thought about wearing two of them?"
 

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The Idaho Transportation Department found over 200 dead crows on Highway 55 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.

A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).

The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by cars.

ITD then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "CAH CAH !!" not a single one could shout "Truck"!!!

Sent from my iPhone
 

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JOKES AND FUNNY STORIES

Awhile back when I was on a fairly long ride-about I visited an old village which was pretty much a ghost town. It's heyday had passed, probably with the last gold rush. There were buildings but a lot of the town lots had just remnants of dwellings remaining, or were vacant entirely. I assume snow, fire, and time had collapsed a lot of them. Some of the remaining rubble had been cleaned up, some not. Obviously some folks still lived there but they were few, and my sense was that very little seemed to be going on in this sleepy little hollow.

The village was situated on a terraced hillside with a good sized river running below. Accessed with properly laid out roads carved out of the dirt, and cutting diagonally across the streets and avenues. I spotted a well worn foot path that folks apparently used as a short cut to save time and effort in getting from here to there.

A fair distance away from me and close to the river's edge a very colourful place stood out.. At a distance I saw what appeared to be some kind of sign attached to a post, so I rode over to have a look. Of all things the sign was made of a bolted on moose horn. I chuckled when I read 'R.C.M.P'. prominently carved into it.

The colourful place was the police station and it obviously had to be serving as the policeman's residence too. My hunch was that he must have had a wife who was very bored indeed. I was literally stunned by the jumbled array of shockingly bright flowers of every description decorating the whole of the entrance and front porch. A photo of the place would be worthy of printing in any quality home and garden magazine, and I wouldn't be surprised in the least hearing that Martha Stewart herself had endorsed the gardener's grand efforts. There had to be more than this memorable cop shop to discover here, so feeling encouraged I rode up and down streets and avenues looking for things of interest..

By and by I spotted someone with a knapsack on his back, slowly trudging up the foot path. Dying to get some insight into what was 'shaking' in these parts I rode over to break some ice. I discovered a man who was older than me and a bit stooped over. His cheeks glowed red with his effort and his blue eyes looked sharply at me through the hair covering his brow. He wore a blue flannel shirt and a punched out felt hat of the kind that a miner or settler would have worn in the old days.

"Hi there! I was hoping I'd come across somebody. Do you live here? I'm from southern BC." We small talked a bit and I asked "What's news here in the big city of Telegraph Creek anyway?"

"Now let me see..." he says without so much as a flinch before pointing across the hill... "Believe it or not, just last week I saw two dogs fuxxing right over there!"

"Love at first site, or whaddaya figure?" I asked as I chuckled.

"No...." he says. "I think they have this thing going on."

With ice well broken and laughter subsided we began to chat more seriously. He wintered in Victoria BC and summered in Telegraph Creek for several years now. Some of what he wrote was historical articles, some was stories for magazines and such. I gathered that he probably found material and creative inspiration here, not to mention time to work on his well honed sense of humour. He was off to visit some friends and I headed out my own way too. I doubt I'll ever forget his punch line.

Paddy
 
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